We crossed the 20 week mark a couple weeks ago and there was something so relieving about that milestone. Maybe it is the confidence of knowing we only have to repeat the time we’ve experienced? Maybe it was the anatomy scan not alerting any red flags? Maybe it was the anticipated, consistent baby kicks?
The sense of peace and realness of this child fill us with excitement! Josh felt the first kicks last week and the kids saw the baby on the 20 week ultrasound. We have spent what feels like hours listening to the baby’s heartbeat with our little home doppler. Norah loves to play doctor and imagine where the baby’s belly button, toes and nose are inside my belly. With each new experience, we all feel more attached to this child. Jonah reminds me often, “I get to be a BIIIIIG brother!”
Not knowing the gender of this third baby has been a new experience for us. It has filled us with anticipation, but also has left us feeling like we’re missing something. With my first two pregnancies, we spent time talking about how we imagined the child would be, what characteristics of the two of us they would take on and how we could nurture the child the best. This time, we avoid talking about what we “think” the baby will be like, because we don’t want to attach to one gender over the other. We want our feelings of “no-preference” to persevere through to delivery.
Oh… it is hard! SO hard to not find out what gender baby is.
The nesting in me wants to have a name we love, to pray specifics and to sort baby clothes. BUT, I cling to the thought of delivery…. to the moment a child is placed in your arms and their cheek is against yours. The moment you know- you know that they are yours and you are theirs. The moment that gender doesn’t matter and that all is right in the world because you have each other. ❤
We love you SO much! Mommy loves your little kicks and your flutters. Daddy grins every time he feels your little feet under Mommy’s skin. Norah and Jonah- oh, they are just SO excited! They both promise to get me diapers when you need them… but they will NOT change poopy diapers :). We can’t wait to feel the warmth of your skin or to look into your little eyes. You are sure to be wonderful in countless ways!
Love you more than I can explain!
xoxo, your Mommy