Two years ago, I sat on the edge of a hospital bed, willing myself to join my husband on the so-called-sofa with our new, precious little man; yet, unable to make the 3ft trek without a supportive hand. I had spent 8 months of pregnancy running and 3 weeks walking, yet the planned c-section had still ripped my body apart. The pain kept me in my bed, but it didn’t hold my love back- lack of sleep, surgery scars and rampant hormones couldn’t contain the adrenaline of those first few days with a newborn. My love felt vivacious and full. Like the rolling of an ocean swell. It was overwhelming and yet, wonderful. Something that only the love of God can mirror.
Every-time my son yawned, I smiled. Every-time he coo-ed a gassy smile, I melted. Every-time he cried, my arms reached to hold him close.
I loved this little man. He was hefty. Preciously hefty… and yet, the spitting image of his daddy.
Before birth, I had fears of not being able to share love with second child, but that fear banished in a moment. I told the people closest to me that I was apprehensive of having a boy, yet within hours of knowing my son, that was a distant memory.
I look back on those fears and apprehensions and almost giggle. My son is my love child- he loves to be held, he loves to sit on my lap, he loves to talk and have my full attention. He loves to show love. Nonetheless, he is a boy in every sense of the word. He is reckless and dangerous. He loves to go fast, jump far and push hard. He loves balls and sticks, he likes airplanes and trains, he admires capes and soccer players. I never thought I would understand this world, but I do… and I love it.
People always told me that I would “love having a little boy” and that “little boys love their mommas.”
Yes and Amen.
Both statements are true (yet, I could argue polarizing statements about loving a daughter too). I consider myself so lucky to know the love of a son. Messy fingers, bumps and bruises, banging, crashing, destroying… I am one lucky momma.
My son, I love you. Thank you for all the memories so far, I can’t wait to make more. But first, let me press pause and enjoy you at 2… for just a bit.
Happy 2nd Birthday, little man.